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Overheard at the bar last night

Bar Patron #1: "There's no way that Crash deserved to beat Brokeback Mountain. Quick, pop quiz: What's more entertaining, watching Matt Dillon be racist or watching Jake Gyllenhaal penetrate Heath Ledger? Time's up! Answer? Watching Jake do his thang."

Bar Patron #2: "I think my vodka has too much alcohol in it."

Comments

Clearly this person didn't see Brokeback Mountain: Jake never penetrated Heath.

But what's more annoying than all the "shock and awe" around Crash's win? Roger Ebert's mortifyingly naive argument that "Crash won because it was a superior film" and that homophobia had nothing to do with Brokeback's downfall. I mean, come on; first of all, Crash was not a superior film, but second of all, even if Crash were the better film, how often does the Academy award the Best Picture Oscar to the best nominated film? Did Citizen Kane win? 2001? Raging Bull? Pulp Fiction? The Academy Awards are viciously political, to suggest anything else is delusional, and this time around, homophobia definitely played its part. To say nothing of class.

But what's even more annoying than that? The weird media hoopla and neo-minstrel show audience reaction to Three 6 Mafia and their "historic" win. As if hip hop has JUST NOW broken into the mainstream. As if hip hop records are not produced and distributed through record companies that are run by old, rich white men who are also Academy voters. As if Jack Nicholson didn't play a hip hop media mogul in that wretched movie he made with Diane Keaton? The Academy gets hip hop. The Academy owns hip hop. The Academy president has better flow than Lil' Kim. I mean, didn't Eminem win an Oscar for Lose Yourself, like, just two years ago? An Oscar that, if memory serves, was presented by a very weirded out Barbara Streisand, and accepted by some random pasty white dude Em found in his entourage. Furthermore, I have to believe that a better rap was written for a film this year than the deliriously repetetive It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp--an insight that is just a shade more profound than, "Gee, puppies sure are cute."

What makes life worth living, though: Dave Chappelle's Block Party. And thinking about Heath Ledger penetrating Jake Gyllenhaal. Man that was hot.

Adam: Your comment ruined a perfectly entertaining bar-talk snippet. In any event, your points are well-taken.

Was I really that upset this morning? What the fuck?

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