« April 2005 | Main | June 2005 »
Memorial Day is apparently so named because once you die from alcohol poisoning on this day, you will get a nice little memorial afterwards. Also, overheard at a barbecue between two people Planetarium doesn't know:
girl 1: So, yeah, he was totally into me.
girl 2: That is SO cool. Is he still married?
girl 1: Yeah, but he said he wife is totally fine with us hooking up, or she will be when he tells her.
Some things are always a cause for celebration. One of those things is the release of a new David Cronenberg movie. Love him or hate him, his movies are inarguably fascinating, strange, intelligent, and more often than not, extremely haunting. So we're on pins and needles here, waiting for the newest film. If we haven't piqued your interest yet, why don't you head over to the Apple trailer site, and check out the preview for A History of Violence.
Not sure to what extent you'll all familiar with the "Kidz Bop" phenomenon, but either way, this is pretty weird. Courtesy of Planetarium staffer andymcc comes this link, which if you scroll down and click on the 2nd paragraph, you'll be treated to the Kidz Bop version of "Since You've Been Gone" by kelly Clarkson. If you've seen Kelly's original video, there's a deeper appreciation, but either way, this is extremely weird and more than a little unsettling.
Oh my god the new Sleater-Kinney record is SO FUCKING AWESOME. Got it last night, and spent the next hour driving around in the Planetarium-mobile listening to it. Um, can you say Zeppelin? Yeah, that's right. This record, we think, is going to make some Sleater-Kinney fans less than thrilled. Why? Because it will be TOO FUCKING ROCK for them. The first track, "The Fox", blows your eardrums off, and then number 2 is a little more "standard", just to remind you that, yes, it IS still S-K, and then they're off to the races again. Damn, this record is good. The Woods. Out now.
Yeah, we know: it's not exactly a big deal to come across an article on the Internet calling for America to impeach George Dubya. But it's a slightly more compelling read when the call to impeach is made by Ronald Regan's Asst. Treasury Secretary, Paul Craig Roberts.
Frank Rich kicks ass. This is almost as good as that Star Wars thing, only serious.
Everyone should check out Anthony Lane's review of the new Star Wars from the New Yorker, not just because it's extremely funny and pretty dead-on, but also to admire the fact that he chose the exact same Anakin-Padme dialogue we did as the contender for worst exchange of romantic words ever. Also, his take on Yoda is great:
Deepest mind in the galaxy, apparently, and you still express yourself like a day-tripper with a dog-eared phrase book. “I hope right you are.” Break me a fucking give.
So we went out and got the new Hold Steady record yesterday, and from early indications it's just as rockin', if not more so, than the last one. Also, they're about to be fucking famous, so check it out before it goes to their heads. They're in Entertainment Weekly's frickin' "Must List" this issue, for God's sake. But man- really good rock n' roll.
Well, Planetarium finally got to see the final Star Wars film last night, and while there was many a drk in attendance, there were not enough dorks-in-costume for our tastes. Ah well. What's that, you say? You have a question?....
Well, it was.....alright. It was clearly the best of the three, but then again, that's like being the smoothest bowel movement of the day. There were some decent fight sequences and special effects surrounded by hilariously bad dialogue, wooden acting, and some VERY silly moments. This exchange between Padme and Anakin we found particularly tasty:
Anakin: You look beautiful.
Padme: Only because I'm so much in love.
Anakin: No, it's because I'M so much in love with YOU.
Whoo, Ani, hot stuff! Are you with him, fellas? Another howler comes when the Jedi Council is trying to decide who to send to the Wookiee planet to help out, and Yoda volunteers: "Good relations with the Wookiees, have I."
To his credit, you could tell George REALLY wanted to make an analogy of the Bush administration to the Evil Empire. Towards the end, when Anakin confronts Obi-Wan, he actually says "If you're not with us....", and you can almost hear the unspoken "you're against us" floating in the air. But George decides to not directly alienate half the country, and instead has him finish with "...you're the enemy." But still....come ON. So fucking obvious. Where's the pissed-off right-wingers protesting Star Wars? Hopefully soon.
New Krugman, this one on the impending disaster from China's economic policy to the U.S. Go!
Urban Google:
It translates all real sites for you- fucking genius. It's great. Our favorite was our search results for NPR: ".. Clizzay here fo` tha NPR News n Classical Network homepage n shit." What a great way to waste 30 minutes of our day. Also- be sure to check out sites you're familiar with. To wit:
"... The motherfucka of Malachi Constant all met at a decrepit rehabilitizzle bitch in ..."
Oh yeah.
Dunno about you, but we're pretty fascinated by the whole filibuster showdown. It's such a weird, complex issue that could ricochet in any direction, political blowback-wise. Both sides need to take such careful steps, and treat it so specifically in their frantic efforts to frame the issue, because really, this could blow up SO hardcore in either side's faces. We don't think it's an understatement to say that this could be the pivotal issue for the Senate elections next year. If you don't know what we're talking about, shame on you, and pick up a newspaper, or, you know, the INTERNET. We've heard it's a new invention that's got some "news sites" on it.
We're sure that in some weird alternate reality, it's entirely possible to accomplish things on a Saturday morning before noon. That is, things beyond lying on the couch, going online, listening to music, maybe watching a litle TV or reading. It's complicated even further when it's supposed to be a certain temperature outside, and it's approximately twenty degrees colder than said temperature. And also, you're hung over.
New Krugman. Go!
(btw, signing in only takes three seconds and requires no personal info, not even email. So go ahead.)
Yeah, so the adaptation of Douglas Adams's book into a big movie? Pretty wack, even by stupid nerd humor standards. Not only that, but if you're going to try and make a movie a big early summer blockbuster for all ages, you might not want all the sets and special effects to be near-identical to old warehouse-style crap sets from Dr. Who reruns. Seriously. We could crap up better special effects, and often do. Also: a running stream of "gags" does not a movie make! See: Kentucky Fried Movie. You know it's bad when, halfway through, you're wishing that Michael Bay had directed this thing.
We have no patience for most of the bloggers over at Twin Cities Babelogue, but one lady that always invites is Diablo Cody. This woman's sharp wit and mouth like a drunken sailor assures a quick, lively read every time we check in with her. For example, today she lists what are acceptable and unacceptable celebrity crushes:
I could totally grok having a massive crush on Katie Holmes, if, say, she worked in the next cubicle or lived in your apartment building. But celebrity crushes are supposed to be reserved for enigmatic, fabulous, seemingly non-human stars.Acceptable Celebrity Crushes
David Bowie (impossible to picture him pooping)
Tina Fey (brainy, mysterious scar)
Britney Spears (you can't have her, so you absolutely must)Unacceptable Celebrity Crushes
Matt Damon (too nice, has put his penis inside his assistant's vagina)
Courteney Cox (pretty, but could never own you like Aniston does)
Natalie Portman (the Windows 95 to Keira Knightly's OS X)
You can see what she's up to for yourself over at Pussy Ranch. Also, kudos for posting cheesecake photos of herself. Totally kitsch meets unabashed-ness.
We gotta hand it to Bright Eyes, it was pretty ballsy of him to go on The Tonight Show and just VICIOUSLY lay into the President like that. Mad ups. "When the President Talks to God"? Good song name. Maybe as a reward for you, we'll go buy a used copy of Digital Ash In A Digital Urn. Though we could've done without your rabid fan base screaming at you between each verse.
Assface Jr. due in '06.
Krugman's latest series is really kicking ass and taking names on the healthcare issue. Go!
Man, The Simpsons has gotten really, really bad. True, for the last few years it's just been kind of weirdly unappealing, but this past Sunday crossed the line into actively unsettling and creepy. All the jokes were really mean-spirited, and at the expense of, for example, retarded people. That's how low it has sunk. Here's to hoping this will be its last season. Can anyone remember the last time the show was actually funny?
On the other hand, the new episode of Family Guy kicked ass.
Bad Boys.
Dammit. We accidentally deleted a comment from Filament, rebuking B. Alec for his comment on the "Sports" entry. Something about how bad his jokes are, or something. Filament, would you care to re-post?